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How to stop being defensive and argumentative

482 6 months ago
Me being defensive? Throw up a wall, rebut the statement, and accuse the other person of the same complaint. The sad thing is many of us react defensively without even thinking about it. This allows us to feel morally superior to the other person while simultaneously protecting our ego from the possibility that we may actually be incompetent or acting like a jerk. Unfortunately, defensive behavior creates a reciprocal cycle. One party acts defensively, which causes the other party to respond defensively, which in turn causes the first party to raise their defenses even higher, and so on and so on.
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Marriage Advice: How to Stop Being So Defensive All The Time | Fatherly

Defensiveness is one way that we protect our egos. You might get defensive if someone challenges a cherished belief, criticizes you for something, or poses a threat to how you see yourself and the world. To be less defensive, you'll need to learn how to control your emotions, take criticism, and also be more empathetic to others. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in Anger Empathy.
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Defensiveness Is Killing Your Relationships – How To Recognize It and What To Do About It

Like all married couples do at one time or another, John and Cindy have fallen into a routine. This one is a little more unhealthy: Whenever Cindy brings up any subject that could be considered even remotely touchy, John goes into full red-alert mode. Do I have to do everything around here? Sound familiar?
Well, why are you if you are? Or maybe you're just curious as to why others get very defensive. Some are defensive about lots of stuff generally. Others emotionally over-respond when it comes to specific areas such as their religion or appearance. If you really want to see over-defensiveness in action, go onto any forum or chat room.

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